Ruling my world means I am peaceful whether I think my husband is right or not.

Ruling my world means that my heart can break and heal in the same moment every time my mother’s health deteriorates a notch.

Ruling my world means that I stand tall and speak loudly for human rights and needs — clean water and food, shelter, safety and peace, basic education, for all sentient beings (especially humans).

Ruling my world means that I don’t need to impose my ideas on others, but am available and willing to share information that they request or find helpful. It also means offering more freely and being willing to hear “no” if it doesn’t resonate with them.

Ruling my world means that I play bigger than I ever have before and allow my dreams to inspire my actions.

Ruling my world means that I stay connected to That Which Creates Everything so I don’t forget that I am not the creator but a conduit. And it’s my job to keep the channel clear so the best signals come through.

Ruling my world helps me move past lethargy into action more consistently, and not taking myself so seriously that I hide in my cave and wonder when the change will come.

Ruling my world is an ongoing event that grows easier with practice but only ends when I do.

What does it mean to you to rule your world? Will you step with me into sovereignty?

Love and blessings, Sharon~*

“I want to teach about splitting and making whole, about the shattering and rectification that arise constantly throughout creation. I want to declare “hineni” (Here I Am, the ultimate spiritual declaration of readiness) and help others to do the same. I want to help repair as many threads as possible so that the world may become whole cloth one day. I want to declare myself a soul weaver who uses the Tree of Life as her loom.”

Those feel like words worth living by. As The Great Creator said after each act on those first six days, Ki Tov…It Is Good.

What is your declaration of good intent? For this year? For your life?

So this morning I did one of the only things I really feel I can do when confronted with another’s pain — I sat on my meditation cushion and sent healing Reiki energy to two women I know who are particularly struggling right now, one from the pain of cancer treatment and the other having her gallbladder removed after weeks of ill health and uncertainty. And as I sat, focusing on each in turn and offering all of the healing energy I could align myself with, tears spontaneously flowed from my eyes.

They were tears of sadness for the pain I wish no one ever had to suffer, and the paradoxical truth that there is no escape from it in this human life; of joy at the deep ways people find to connect through adversity, as my friend with cancer is experiencing. I had just read endless posts on her Caring Bridge blog with jokes and stories, movie recommendations and suggestions for wig styles and colors, hearing how her husband and grown sons are rallying and finding new depths in their own hearts through this difficult time.

It felt good to cry, to be vulnerable and real and fully present to life exactly as it is. Pain exists — people get sick and spend time in hospitals, which are a blessing and a curse (ever tried getting a good night’s sleep in one?!?!?). The tears were like tenderizer, loosening the soil and helping seeds of compassion and connection grow stronger and more nourished. It reminded me once again that when you allow feelings to move through you, they don’t get stuck and you don’t grow weaker in the process. It’s like the Velveteen Rabbit, who became more real as his fur was rubbed off and his eyes fell out, because he was loved intensely and used fully…and isn’t that the best measure of a life well lived?

How will you water your garden today?

Off you go into your own three-ring circus, filled with thoughts of past hurts, tomorrow’s to-do list, money worries and concerns about next week’s visit to the internist. I know, I was just there this morning…

Taming the Tigers

Worry thoughts seem to have a life of their own, yet like other thoughts they simply arise and exist, often unbidden. When you find yourself jolted back to consciousness with your mind racing in a tight little wheel, what strategy are you most likely to pick once you realize you’re not going back to sleep?

• Get up and turn on the TV or computer.
• Fix yourself a comforting bowl of cereal or pick at last night’s mashed potatoes.
• Lie awake in bed, tossing and fretting as any and all worry thoughts become bigger and scarier, as they tend to in the wee hours of the morning.

Yup, been there, done that…and those first two can seem mighty comforting and distracting, just what you think you want in that situation.

But much like the circus performers who work to ‘tame’ the tigers and other large, wild animals, your thoughts can also be tamed and made to work for rather than against you. It’s simply a matter of having the right tools and getting in plenty of focused practice.

Words of Lovingkindness

Maybe you haven’t been having trouble thoughts lately. Maybe your new year is off to a great start, with a clear sense of vision and purpose for the 12 months ahead. Whatever state you are in, taking a mindful, direct approach to increasing compassion can always serve and support you exactly where you are.

I am drawn to any practice that opens, fosters and celebrates the intelligence of the heart. This is why I have always loved the Buddhist practice of metta or lovingkindness, a subject I return to again and again in my work and in my life – one good thing you can never get too much of!

We use the phrases to remind us of our innate goodness and desire to be kind and loving, which is often easier in theory than practice. We also use it to train the mind to shift away from worry thoughts when they begin to overtake us past the point of usefulness. (Yes, there is such a thing as useful worry, like “gee, did I pay the mortgage this month?” or “wow, better slow down with the road so slippery.”)

Here are the phrases as I first learned them and still love to say them. There are many variations, including simply “may I feel happy, may I feel safe” but this set of four lines feels poetic and invokes a deep sense of possibility in me.

Begin by first saying the phrases for yourself, taking as much time as you need (who needs kindness more at 4 in the morning?!):

• May I dwell in the heart
• May I be free from suffering
• May I be healed
• May I be at peace

Then say them for people you love; for neutral people in your life, like the supermarket cashier; for people by whom you feel challenged or actively dislike; and then for all people everywhere.

Happy 2010. May this practice serve you well, nourish your heart and help your head steer clear of the tigers and the clowns…

But what about when things don’t happen according to your carefully guided thoughts and desires, or when something unexpectedly wonderful occurs? What law is operating then?

The Unlawful Nature of Laws

The thing about these presumed laws of the universe is that they are not as predictable as one would hope. We may have free will, but there is also the Great Mystery of which we are all a part.

For example, I had the great fortune of working with Jessie at a holistic fair. In a brief 20-minute session, I learned that she had recently made huge changes in her life – ending a marriage, moving to a new town and finding different work – and did some energy balancing and releasing to help her assimilate the positive and negative stresses of all that change.

A few days later, I got an e-mail telling me that after our short time together she had an amazing experience. In her words, “I mentioned to you during that time that I felt a heaviness in my chest. You pressed on that spot, and you did something else miraculous because the heaviness/burden is completely gone. I have been working on getting rid of that feeling for years, with self healing, forgiveness and working with healers. It had diminished but never quite went away. In 15 or so minutes with you, it was gone.”

I have to be totally honest here – I have no idea what I did to create that kind of result, and couldn’t have planned it if I’d tried! Yes, I was fully present with her in those few moments together. Yes, I held a strong intention for her to receive as full a healing as possible, and worked in her heart area for much of the time. But I know that something else – some unknowable ‘X’ factor – was operating with us on that day. Everything coalesced for Jessie, supported by whatever I did, to create a profound and life-affirming shift in her.

When Intention Misfires

And then there are people like Anne, who I worked with over the phone after a series of e-mail exchanges. She was struggling with lifelong patterns that resulted in a mysterious illness that kept her from working and fully engaging with life. She believed fully in the power of intention and the law of attraction, yet her efforts to heal weren’t getting her anywhere.

Anne kept using language like “I just want my life back” and “I can’t figure out why nothing is changing, I’m trying so hard!” I mentioned to her that sometimes the intense focus on everything being good and right is so at odds with reality that our system doesn’t know what to believe. The paradox is that when we keep disowning ‘negative’ or ‘undesirable’ aspects of ourselves, they grab hold even tighter; but if we allow all things to exist as they are, something in us softens and releases, and real magic can occur.

In trying to only resonate with health and vibrant wellbeing, she was setting herself up to believe that if she didn’t get better it was somehow her fault. She wasn’t working hard enough, affirming clearly enough or somehow was just not enough. When I gently asked “what if your physical symptoms never really go away, could you still see yourself as whole?” she was stymied and uncomfortable. Her belief in the law of attraction was so strong she could only see that as defeat.

Needless to say, I never did hear from Anne again. My kabbalistic healing perspective of holding all things in wholeness and recognizing that everything, including the bad stuff in life, exists because of the same mysterious creative force, was too radical a notion. As much as I can’t fully take credit for Jessie’s healing, I am pretty darn sure that if Anne had continued opening to this way of thinking, she would have experienced healing whether or not her physical symptoms abated.

Holding Opposites Makes Us Whole

The point here is that anytime we codify something as law, we lose something in the process. It often creates conflict and opposition, which are not great partners of healing. The most fertile ground for miracles comes from recognizing that our will is only part of the story. Allow the mysterious nature of God, the Universe, or whatever you want to call the potent realm of creation, to move through you and see what is possible.

As the Buddhist saying goes, “May you bloom like the lotus, at home in the muddy waters.”

Picking Your Battles

First, give yourself credit for what you are doing to create less of an impact on the planet. Have you traded your plastic bottles of water for a reusable one? Check. Are you recycling as much of your paper and plastic refuse as possible? Check. Are you buying more locally grown produce and minimizing your purchases of fruits from Chile and New Zealand? (Good news: first of the season northeast strawberries are coming soon!)

As much as I admire people like Barbara Kingsolver — the gifted writer who wrote so touchingly about her family’s commitment to eating only locally raised food in Animal, Vegetable, Miracle – I am far from a localvore (don’t you love these new words that spring out of ideologies?). One of my favorite things about winter is the abundance of succulent pink grapefruit from Florida, which makes those snowy mornings worthwhile. I can’t imagine eating only apples and pears ALL…WINTER…LONG.

And, just last week, someone who is a vegan tried to convince me that if everyone in the world went vegan, global warming would cease to be an issue. Hmmm…maybe. Sounds good. But while we might all agree that eating less meat overall, and more humanely raised animals when we do, is better for individual and planetary health, the plain truth is that not everyone is meant to be or willing to be totally vegan.

Yeah, So?

My point here is that life is a very large and complex place, and we are here such a short amount of time. A little guilt might not be such a bad thing if it spurs you to action, but too much and you zap all of the joy and color out of existence.

We are all part of the great chain of being…we can do our part to live lightly and responsibly, but in truth our individual actions are only a tiny part of the bigger picture. How we engage in those actions, however, is of great importance.

The best antidote for guilt is gratitude. When we take a moment to consciously connect to what we are doing or eating, and gratefully acknowledge all of the energy, people, and animals that went into our now being able to partake of something, we relax. We feel humble. We feel connected rather than apart from the very things we rely on for our nourishment and survival (or play). We find ourselves naturally drawn to eat more slowly, and possibly more healthfully, when we remember to thank those that gave their lives so we can eat – including the carrot and the zucchini.

Whatever we are truly in relationship with, we are less likely to abuse, misuse or discard thoughtlessly. So when the web of guilt starts to close in around you, weave your way out by making a compassionate connection to all that exists. If more of us did that, we just might save the world…

What does “clean food” mean?

• Fill your plate at least half with salads and fresh cooked vegetables, then let the other half be mostly grains and beans, with whatever meat you’re having being more like a side dish or flavor boost.
• Take in plenty of fluids and high water content foods (again, basically veggies) so there is less room for denser foods. I just made a quick, satisfying soup from prepared chicken broth in which I simmered onion, carrot, mushroom and zucchini, with a Gardenburger on the side for added protein and satiety. My favorite ready made broth is Rachel Ray’s brand — it actually has less sodium than most brands, including those marked “low sodium” and has a true chicken flavor.
• Try homemade smoothies for a treat or a meal replacement. Freeze ripe bananas by peeling, breaking into small pieces and storing in a container. For one serving, mix about half a banana with some frozen berries or peach slices, add a scoop of whey protein powder (Designer Whey is a great brand), a tablespoon of flax or coconut oil, a sprinkle of cinnamon and a little sweetener to taste if needed. The combination of protein powder and healthy oil keeps you full and satisfied for hours.

2) Do some mental spring cleaning. Take an hour to meditate and journal on a habitual behavior you are wanting to let go of and what you want to replace it with. For example, if you’ve been beating yourself up about spending too much on non-essentials, think about what other resources you have to fill that need. What sets off the desire to acquire? State your intention to stop, breathe and contemplate the richness of your life the next time you feel the impulse to make a purchase. Then extend your gratitude by passing on clothing items, CDs and books that no longer fit your life.

3) Touch the earth. Find a place to take off your shoes and really feel the ground supporting you and the grass or moss that is coming back to life. Open all of your senses to the moment — the air on your skin, the wind in the still bare trees, the buds that are forming on the branches, the sounds of birds and other creatures becoming active again. Open your arms and breath deeply, knowing that you are part of this cycle of cold and warm, dark and light, dormant and fertile. Embrace your place in the natural order of life.

Happy spring! Wishing you light and warmth in all aspects of your being…

This will make enough for two as a main dish, four as a side, and calls for having leftover cold rice or quinoa on hand. It actually doesn’t work as well with freshly cooked grain because it will still have too much moisture and result in a mushier dish.

All measurements are more intuitive than exact! Switch up the veggies, increase or decrease amounts to your taste and let your own creativity play.

~Saute 1 small onion in olive oil till transparent. Add 1 diced carrot, a bunch of broccoli or cauliflower cut into small bites (or any other hard, longer cooking vegetable) and continue sauteeing until still firm but beginning to soften. Add diced zucchini or yellow squash and one or two minced cloves of garlic. You could even chop up some  spinach or other leafy green — if you have some already cooked, add it in with the grains.

~When vegetables are cooked, add in about 1 cup of leftover grain and a bit more oil if needed (this works best in a good non-stick or cast iron skillet which needs very little oil). Season to taste with some soy sauce or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos (a non-fermented soy based seasoning that adds salt and richness), and herbs of your choice — my favorites are thyme and marjoram, maybe a little oregano or basil, or sometimes curry powder instead of herbs — and salt and pepper to taste. How about a dash of Tabasco or cayenne for a little heat?

~If adding meat, have it cooked before hand and stir in at the end till just heated through. Or add a half can or so of your favorite beans — garbanzos are perfect with curry seasoning, or try white or red kidney beans with Italian seasonings.

Zero-based eating at its best — use what you have on hand and turn those leftover bits into something truly tasty!

If you come up with a great flavor combination, please come back and share it with the rest of us…

February ended with a real clunk here in the northeast, with two storm systems slamming our area and leaving hundreds of thousands without power for many days.  For us it was 4-1/2 to be exact, and with our well no power means not just no heat but also no water. No water means no flushing toilets, along with needing bottled water for drinking, cooking and basic cleanup. Not to mention the loss of lights, computers, TV’s, radios and phone.

It was a rough time, shoveling 2 feet of snow, melting snow to flush toilets, and being in basic survival mode as we waited for a downed tree to be cleared so we could be plowed out after three of those days. It was also intensely, deeply, soul-stirringly quiet, and I drank that in like rain on desert sand. On some level there was nothing to do but be really present –staying warm, fetching and melting snow, clearing paths and cars, minimizing phone conversations to save cell phone batteries.

One morning as I looked out at all of that snow — trees bending under the weight of it, piles mounded higher than my 5’1″ stance — I realized that in 4 to 6 weeks we’d begin to see buds, and in 5 months we’d be eating chard, herbs and berries from our garden, and pulling weeds like mad. And on the 4th day of captivity, I ceremoniously turned the calendar page to March and felt (as I did just writing that word) a palpable relief — we might still be in the thick of this storm, but there was light at the end of the tunnel called winter.

What rough patch are you navigating right now? Are you able to be truly present to the difficulty and also see past it to a future territory that holds more ease? What tender green slips of tulip are hiding in the frozen tundra of your psyche?

Be here now — and be there when it gives you the fortitude to more fully be here now.

Does it really matter? If the reality of God is totally unknowable, yet we act with love and compassion and faith in something larger, better and all-inclusive, do we need to have a specific notion of a specific God? After all, this is what inevitably leads to conflict and strife when we can’t all agree on who or what that might be.

My ultimate faith has always been in the ineffable mystery of existence, the fact that some larger organizing principle is at work. It is the very life force that allows things to exist or not from moment to moment. It is what drew me to Taoism when I first learned of it, and helped me become a kabbalist when I learned that the ultimate expression of the creative force in those teachings was the Ain Sof or Infinite Everything/Nothingness; It precedes and creates the God of the Bible or the limited expression of God in any earthbound faith.

As I drift back and forth between feeling certain there is a God and then less certain in the face of conflict and confusion, I find myself wrestling with the various words that are used for this deity. And that’s often where the trouble ensues – when we name things, we forget that the name is a pointer to an ultimate mystery and not a definitive end point. It is that way with other humans as it is for the larger relationship with the Divine Mystery – we mistake the naming of Michael or Rachel as telling us everything we need to know about that person.

And what a much bigger mistake that is when it comes the ultimate unknowable mystery that is the very base of our existence! When we call it God, we think we know something about it that keeps us from staying open to the unknown. It’s a name that has been hijacked, overused, abused, debased, sanctified and vilified. It holds so much charge, both positive and negative, for people from every walk of life and on every continent, that it can easily take away from the Thing itself, which is the force that infuses everything and everyone with aliveness.

There are times when I am contemplating my essence, making a conscious connection to the creative force and holding a concept of ‘God’ within me – and then confusion comes in. But when I connect directly to the Mystery, the Infinite Source of All-That-Is, calm follows. It is sometimes better to rest within the question than to grasp for a clear answer…